New York!

Nate invited me to join him on a business trip to New York City this past week, and wow did we cram a lot into a little time!  The first day we visited the September 11 World Trade Center Memorial.  This picture shows the waterfall in the footprint of South Tower.  I am so glad that we had the opportunity to remember those who lost their lives that day.

 

 

 

For lunch, my Aunt Pat came to join me at the Round Table restaurant at the Algonquin.  It was so fun to connect with her!  The last time I saw her was 2006 when Miles was 7 weeks old in Florida.  It was a honor to share a meal with her!

 

Thursday night we enjoyed the musical Jersey Boys, which is a story about Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons.  The talent of the actors was phenomenal.  Phenomenal!

Nate was tied up in meetings on Friday (it WAS a business trip, after all), so my Aunt Pat recommended a window walking tour she found online to see all the famous Christmas windows in NYC.  They were very magical!

While I was walking, I saw this big tree.  Several people were stopping to take pictures of it, so I figured I should, too. 

Friday afternoon I did two very important things: rode the wooden escalator in Macy's and went to the top of the Empire State Building.  The view was very beautiful!

 

When Nate finished work on Friday, we met and walked to Rockefeller Plaza.  It was SO crowded, but beautiful, too!  And I got to see the big tree again, only it was all lit up this time.

Saturday morning we woke up made our way to Central Park.  It is truly a breath of fresh air in the middle of the chaos of New York!  After our walk, we ate lunch at Chipotle and shared a table with two local women.  Space is most certainly a premium!  We spoke with one about sharing the table, and then the second just sat down and joined us.  While I would have loved a date with my husband, it was such an insightful experience that I'm glad we had.  After lunch we headed to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.  My legs were so tired that I confess that I was quite possibly more excited to see a bench to rest on than the art itself.  We did see some amazing pieces - art by Matisse, Picaso, and Rembrant.  This is a self-portrait of Rembrant.

It isn't easy for me to go do "fun" things and not overthink them.  So even on this fun vacation, I learned many lessons. Here are just a few:

1. I don't know how my husband does the job he does.  That he presses on through trip after trip is simply amazing to me.  He landed Monday, took off again Wednesday, landed Sunday, and took off again Monday.  It took me ALL of Monday to recover from the trip.  That man's life is crazy!

2. I can tour around New York City by myself!  I confess it was out of my comfort zone, but I did it! 

3. I am so glad I live in the Midwest!  I love space!  I love the sunshine on my face! (Not a shadow of a tall building!)

I am thankful for such a fun experience!

What in the world...?

I often wonder if my kids are learning the things I am teaching them.   There are repeat offenses that require patient reminders (and more reminders) that make me think I am not making a bit of difference in their lives.  But I get reminders every once and a while that they are watching and learning every second.

Yesterday was our weekly trip to Walmart.  I do my best to fit that "job" in our lives at a time that the boys do not have to be tortured by coming with me.  Unfortunately, this week required the three of us to make the trek together.

Walmart trips are hard.  My parenting skills and patience are are tested (to say the least.)  I'm going to do my best to describe an average trip to Walmart.  If you are a mom of at least two children, you can skip the next paragraph, because you have lived this and know first-hand how your blood  pressure rises several points and your heart begins to palpitate. 

The trips look something like this: Start moving the cart forward - call the kids to remind them to keep up with me.  Arrive at the location of the first item on my list.  Stop the cart.  Pick out first item. "Please stop touching things."  "Hey - stay close to the cart."  Begin to move cart to the next item.  "Come on boys.  Please keep up with me."  Boys hop on the sides of the cart.  "Hop down, please, we won't fit down this isle."  Boys hop down.  Get distracted by something on the shelf.  I keep rolling, as we have not yet arrived at the location of the next item.  "Come on boys, please keep up with the cart." Boys come back to the cart.  Arrive at the location of the next item.  Stop the cart.  Boys touch and grab at items on the shelf.  "Boys - please do not touch items on the shelf. "  Grab the item. (Probably the wrong item at this point because I can't think about what I'm doing.)  Start moving cart to the next item.  "Come on boys - please keep up with the cart."  "Oh - please watch where you are going.  You are about to run into someone."  "Hey - scooch over - there's someone coming down the isle."  And now I have two items in my cart.  Out of 200. 

It's a long day.

(As an aside to the story, I would like to point out that I used to not understand...which sounds better than "judge"...parents at Walmart who were "uptight" with their children.  Not any more, my friends.  I have been that momma.)

Now that I have set the stage, I will come back to yesterday, and the lesson I learned about my kids learning from me.  It was near the end of the trip.  Miles had brought along a fruit bar for a snack, and at one of our stops to pick out an item, he asked for my help opening it.  "Just a second, Miles, I need to think about this."  "Help me, Mom!"  "Okay - just a sec, Bud."  "HELP ME, MOM!"  I looked down and he had opened both ends, crumbs were flying, it was a mess.  And then it happened, as if my patience had run dry.  "Miles - what in the world were you thinking to open both ends?"

We recovered and finished the trip.  We even salvaged the fruit bar.  However, when I was loading groceries into the car, I heard Cooper say to his brother, "Miles, what in the world were you thinking...?"  It sounded so awful coming out of my six-year-old's mouth.  It was so obvious to me where Cooper learned that.  The scene from earlier in the store was repeating in my head and I heard my own voice saying the exact same thing.  Cooper had learned dishonoring words from me.

I apologized to Miles for saying what I had said in the store and talked to the boys about using honoring words with others - even Mommy needs to do this.  Even if we have just spent two hours at Walmart.  Even if my patience is gone.  Even if I really think I deserve to say whatever I want because circumstances are hard.

I have the ability to breathe life or death into my children.  Yesterday made it so real to me that the decisions I make affect my children's behavior.  They are learning from me!

Deut 30:19-20
This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob

Florida

 

For my 32nd birthday, Nate sent Sarita and I on a long weekend trip to Marco Island, FL.  I am amazed at how spoiled I am that my husband was able to bless me with this gift!  Here are a few highlights.

This was the view from our room.

Our first night, we got caught in the rain walking home from Subway.  We had an impromptu 2 mile sprint!

A dream vacation for me means being able to stick even more strictly to my very comfortable routine, so Sarita and I planned to continue our running per normal.  However, we didn't really count on the FL humidity, the time change, the 2-miles sprint the night before, etc.  So by the end of our runs, we were, well, I shouldn't speak for Sarita, I was DYING.  But alas, off in the distance, a glowing beacon of hope:

 

 

Which provided this:

 

Our Friday schedule included running, sitting on the beach, eating, sitting on the beach, eating, and watching the sunset on the beach: the PERFECT day. 

 

And here is the sunset.  Have you ever noticed the clouds in the sunset add so much beauty?

  

  On Saturday, we decided to be wild and crazy and go on a Wave Runner tour. This was a highlight, for sure, as we got to see dolphins really close! 

 

Here is the sunset on our last night:

Here we are, waiting to leave paradise.

What an amazing gift! I am so thankful!

The last few weeks

The last few weeks have flown by. The week of Carey's birthday, I was traveled for work, getting home on Wednesday evening. On Thursday, Carey jumped on a plane with Sarita headed to Florida. The rest of us loaded up to drive to Oklahoma to visit my family. The boys did awesome and we had a great time, but we played hard and ended up exhausted. While we were there, we spent time fishing, camping, riding 4-wheelers and meeting our new nephew Zeke. We drove all night Saturday to get home before Carey.

Regretfully, I think that was the start of getting sick. Carey wasn't feeling well prior to her trip, but Miles and I started to feel it too. I left the next Tuesday to Toronto for the week and returned home even more sick.

So, that brings us to today. Between not having time and being sick, I haven't ridden for two weeks. I'm not sure what's worse - being sick or looking in the garage at my new, unridden cross bike just hanging there.

Everyone should be home next week and I'm looking forward to a more normal schedule, at least for a few days.

'Cross Racing

Following up to the last post, many people not familiar with Cyclocross have asked me what it is. I've tried to explain it a number of times and it never goes well - 'it's kind of like a mountain bike race on a road-like frame, you do laps, jump off your bike and carry it through mud, up stairs and over barriers, etc'. Somehow, this doesn't seem to give a good mental picture. So, while there are several good videos out there (especially the World Championship Videos on YouTube), here is a short video of day two of the Gran Prix of Gloucester last weekend. Click here for the video.

The view from 35,000 feet

I’ve been on the road a lot lately. Well, more like in the air with brief stints on the road between a hotel / office / airport. For those who travel and have shared this experience, I’ve had a lot of time to think, be curious, and question why things happen the way they do. Granted, much of this time is spent in an exhausted state of mind. While most of this time isn’t productive (see preceding sentence), I do enjoy it and can sometimes come up with good stuff. Most is related to work, family, personal growth, dreaming about bike stuff or what new foodie concoction I want to try next.

On one of my more recent flights, I had nine hours straight to think. Of all things contemplated during that time, I decided that I want to do more writing of my experiences in the day to day. While my life isn’t that crazy cool compared to some, I do get to experience some neat things outside of Bolivar, MO. I don’t know that my boys will ever go back and read the family blog, but one day I hope they will and that they will be able to understand what was going on in my life while I was gone.

While technology, social media, etc. seems to enable the ease of communication with friends, I somehow manage to completely lose track of people in the daily hustle of life. Where the time goes I’m not sure. But, I always look forward to the surprise visit with a friend in an airport, dinner in NYC, golf in San Francisco, or wherever the meeting may take place. When I started my job years ago, I would have thought these random meetings to be a far stretch. But, in fact, they’ve become quite common. These visits have in some ways created an adventure of their own as I never know who will be next!

While Carey does a great job of updating pictures, stories of our family, etc., I wanted to take the opportunity to say that I’ve seen the Lord’s blessing all over our family this year. We’ve all gone through a number of challenges together and on our own, and we’ve been able to rally as a family and stick together. We continue to work together, make adjustments, and thrive. In the past, I struggled to understand how family life could be more than work. But now I know. I have seen first-hand how God is using trials in our history for His glory. I love my family dearly and am completely blessed every day to be part of their lives. Being a husband and father has never been more fulfilling and I know we’re at the start of the greatest adventure of our lives.

This year has brought about many changes to our family, and also to me individually. One of those changes is that I’ve been reminded of how important friends are. There are so many great men around me via work, church, etc. and I’ve neglected many friendships in the past few years. While I’m working to restore those friendships, one group of friends has been especially meaningful to me this summer. Dale Sargent, Ira Brown, and John Jones have all had a big impact on me over the years as we’ve spent countless hours ‘in the saddle’ while touring the back roads of Polk County and beyond. We’ve all regrouped and been riding quite a bit together this summer and it’s been a great outlet for me. There is something about the suffering of hard training rides that seems to build a bond. These guys have offered tremendous encouragement and support, challenge me physically, intellectually, and spiritually, and have been great friends. Some rides are quiet, some are filled with talking on all subjects, and some we’re laughing so hard we can barely pedal. With the first ‘cross race of the season this weekend in Herman, MO, I’m excited about the many months to come of continued training and racing with these guys.

Speaking of laughing with the guys, one of my favorite stories of the year so far was a morning of MTB riding down at the SAC. After a few hours of riding in the summer heat, we were headed back home. While driving back to Bolivar, at one of the major highway intersections, we see a truck is stranded in the middle. Traffic has begun to slow down and things are beginning to jam up. John pulls over in the middle of the island and we all jump out to help push the guys truck back off the road. As the pushing ends and the driver expresses his gratitude for our help, we all notice, in unison, that the guy’s girlfriend in the truck is really laughing. I guess we didn’t notice while pushing, and I’m not really sure it hit us until we were walking back to John’s truck. And then we get it. John and Dale are sweat / dirt covered from the ride, Ira’s in shoes and bib shorts only (with the straps down), and I’ve got nothing but my bib shorts and heart rate monitor on. Not even shoes. As a bystander watching while they waited in traffic, I can’t imagine what was going through their mind. With great memories like this made nearly every day we’re all together, the rest of the year is going to be a blast.   

Boys

I really have no idea how to raise boys.  I have never been a boy.  I didn't have any brothers.  I don't understand how they think, why they do what they do.  I just don't get it.  So when Cooper shot two little girls with his hands in the shape of guns at church on Sunday, I lost it.  This is not an isolated incident for Cooper.  Once, we were out and about delivering May Day Baskets to our friends, and when we delivered to our friends the Hamanns, Cooper didn't say, "Here you are, special friends!  This is a gift for you because we love you!"  No.  He didn't even say, "Here - this is for you."  He shot them with Spiderman webs like any good friend would do.  No words, just an attack.  Then there was the terribly awkward moment at Jump Mania when Cooper got right up in the face of a complete stranger (who was standing on the other side of the bounce house screen) with his mean face on and made some kind of ninja moves with his hands, complete with ninja sound effects.  What in the world?  At the pool recently, he pretended to shoot a couple of kids with his hands who where in a place he wanted to be.  The list could go on.  So many violent reactions!

At church on Sunday, my first reaction was, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"  We have talked about this before!  Our "rule" was (emphasis on was) that we DO NOT SHOOT PEOPLE. Ever.  With a gun, a toy gun, with a stick, with hands, with anything.  I know that is extreme, and I confess that the rule was created out of fear.  Fear that my kid will be the kid that guns down hundreds of people in a movie theater or high school.

But there's a huge problem with the rule: I have boys.  Aggressive, active, testosterone-filled make-a-gun-out-of-a-peanut-butter-sandwich boys.  I watch them play Star Wars with each other, creating battles between the Rebellion and the Empire.  There are "good" guys and "bad" guys.  They HAVE to shoot each other.  This is their creative, valiant, heroic play. 

So sitting there in church, I was overwhelmed with how insufficient I am for this job of mothering boys.  What kind of rule have we created?  It's so silly and restricts their creativity and natural play.  Yet I am not okay with Cooper pretend gunning down little girls as they walk by on their way to church.  I don't want to emasculate my children - how do I raise courageous, brave, heroic gentlemen?  Is this even possible?  The question cycled in my head, and the answer was the same each time I asked - I don't know.  I don't know!!  I. Don't. Know. 

And then, after several minutes of stewing and tears, it occurred to me - this is right where I need to be.  Lord help me.  Oh, Lord Jesus, help me.  I don't know how to do this!  Father - guide me in THIS rule.  In this decision.  This moment. 

We went home after church and Nate and I created a new rule: If you talk to a friend and decide together that you are going to play some kind of good guy/bad guy game with pretend guns involved, and you both agree to this game, then pretend shooting at those playing the game is allowed.  However, we NEVER pretend shoot strangers or friends who are not playing the game with us. 

(As an aside - I am so thankful for my husband who can help guide my boys through this.  Having him in to lead our family is one more reason I need to STOP worrying about this!)

I wish I had a conclusion for this post with some piece of great advice on how to raise boys the right way.  But all I really know as a result of this experience is that I don't know. I am completely lost in this job and in complete need of the Lord to guide my steps.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears

Our Summer

This summer, I had a goal to do something new, fun, and exciting with the boys once per week.  Sarita agreed to join me in this goal, so we set aside Tuesdays as our designated adventure days. We had a slow start due to some family travel in early June, but once we started, we had some great experiences!

The first week of our quest brought rain with it, and thus our plan to try a new park was quickly replaced with a visit to Jump Mania.  By the time we finished jumping, the rain had cleared, and we enjoyed a picnic lunch at Nathanael Greene Park.  Here are the kids in the trees:

The following week, we decided to head back to Nathanael Greene Park to explore more fully.  The kids rode their scooters on the walking trail and then we hit the playground area - very fun!

The third adventure was to Firehouse Pottery where the boys and I painted some beautiful art.  The Vernons were unable to join us for this day, but we sure missed them!

 We followed that up with a picnic lunch at Squiota Park.  We hiked around the pond and played at the playground for a little while.  Super fun park!

The fourth voyage was to Ritter Springs park.  The playground was great, but we didn't get to experience the full park because it is closed in the summer months from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. for a summer day camp.  So, in our normal spontaneous style (hee hee), we decided to head to Doling Park in Springfield.  It was SO fun!  The kids enjoyed the play equipment and then rode their scooters around on the sidewalks.

The kids singing their hearts out on the drive.

Scooter Riding

Picnicking

Tomorrow we head to the Dickerson Park Zoo to finish up our summer tour of Springfield.  I'm so thankful for this very fun summer!  Overall, I feel more confident about exploring new places with the kids.  Mission accomplished.

My Last Day as a Duck

Today is my last day as a Duck.  I have spent the last 11 years and seven months working for this company in some capacity – a developer, a QA person, a Content Developer, and most recently a Product Support Engineer.  Working at Duck Creek has allowed me the opportunity to meet so many amazing, smart, hard-working people.  I am honored that I have gotten to be a part of the Duck Creek story.

Here are a few special memories of my time there:

·         My first day – January 2001.  One other intern and I were assigned to Barry Tate's watch.  One of the most important life lessons Barry taught me – never wear cheap running shoes.  That was pretty huge coming from one of the most frugal people I know.

·         Taking my first business trip to a customer site as a 21-year-old with Doug Roller.  I was too young to rent a car, and after Doug left to visit another client, the customer I was working with had to come pick me up at the hotel and take me to work. I felt like a 15-year-old girl all over again.

·         Nate joined me at Duck Creek in February of 2004.  It has been so fun to watch him grow in his career from a front row seat.

·         Nate and I visited a client in Illinois together – he was the sales guy and I was the Solution Architect.  We made a great team!

·         Duck Creek User Forum/Flocking in St. Louis.  I taught a course on ManuScript debugging, and I got raving reviews.  Several people told me how awesome the course was, and I learned that teaching big people is really not so different from teaching little people: they will do anything for candy. J

·         Cooper’s Baby Shower – At the time, I worked on a team with seven or eight other guys.  For my “shower” we all went and ate at El Rodeo, and (this is the BEST part) the men all wore baby bonnets for part of the meal!  My gift was a used potty seat with words of advice from each of them.  (And they also blessed me with a 1 year Netflix subscription – I guess they knew we wouldn’t get out much!)

·         Solving issues – every day.  The job I am currently in is truly my nitch.  I. Love. It.  Every day is different and challenging, but oh-so-rewarding as I figure out the cause of a difficult issue!

I would be lying to say this has been an easy decision.  As I read through the memories I thought to myself, “Why am I doing this? I love my job!” And I DO!  But I love my God and my husband and my kids more, and right now I feel like the Lord is leading me to Homeschool Cooper.  So today I waddle away.   Thankful for what I have had, allowing myself to mourn the loss, and excited and confident about the next season of life.

Colorado

Nate planned an amazing vacation for our family to take to CO.  Here is our itinerary, with some highlights.

Day 1: Drove from Bolivar, MO to Hays, KS.

• We stopped in Topeka to see the Haraders, and my amazingly hospitable sister bought us dinner.
• We drove past the wind farm just west of Salina - SO BEAUTIFUL!
• The kids hit a rough patch on the drive, and this is what Nate posted to FB: Miles is crying. Cooper is moaning with a tummy ache. Madagascar is in surround sound on both screens. Carey has escaped in the passenger seat with her iPhone and headphones. And the good news? Only 266 more miles of Kansas...

Day 2: Drove from Hays, KS, to Colorado Springs, CO.  Visited Seven Falls.

• We stuck the boys into their beds sleeping and we pulled the boys out of their beds sleeping - they never saw the Hays motel.  Praise the Lord they slept after we put them in the car!
• Seven Falls has changed quite a bit from my memory of it.  They changed their staircases to 2 ginormous staircases that we crept up and down, praying to the Lord that our kids wouldn't stumble.
• The kids enjoyed hiking the trail at the top of the stairs!  Jedi do this kind of thing.

Day 3: Visited The Royal Gorge.  Drove from Colorado Springs, CO. to Vail, CO.

• Our family walked across the bridge of the Royal Gorge.  That's trust right there.  Miles only felt safe when Nate was holding him.  I admit I kinda wanted Nate to hold me, too.

• After some convincing (all of us...not just the kids), we rode the gondola back across the Royal Gorge, again, trusting that the engineers knew what they were doing.
   

 Days 4 through 7: Vail, CO

• The Gore Valley Trail was just outside our hotel and ran along the Gore River.  It was beautiful scenery for us to workout by! 
  
   
• The boys played at some really super playgrounds. 
   

• On Wednesday, we rented bikes and tag-along bikes for the boys.  We had four hours with the bikes, so we rode out, had a picnic, and rode more, totaling about 3 hours of riding.  Miles only wanted to ride with his daddy, and Cooper only wanted to ride with his daddy.  I really tried not to let it bother me, but after several minutes riding with Miles crying and saying hurtful things, I admit my feelings were hurt.  The good news is we survived!
   



• We hiked along a stream our last evening there.  We saw several dams, but no beavers.  When we were driving home, we drove by a dam on a stream that created a lake.  I pointed it out to the boys, "Hey - look at the dam." Miles said, "A beaver dam?" and I replied, "No, a dam dam."  Oops.  That one slipped out of the lips before I considered what I was saying.

Day 8: Drove from Colorado Springs, CO, to Colby, KS...our old stomping ground.

• We visited with some very special friends - Bev and Dean Anderson, Tim and Leisa Hansen, and Bill and Terri Adams. 
• We drove by all of the old houses we lived in and pointed them out to our kids...all they really wanted to do was play at Fike Park. :)
• We enjoyed Taco John's for dinner - it is SO much better than Taco Bell!

Day 9: Drove from Colby, KS, to Bolivar, MO.

• We started our day with Daylight Donuts.  Unfortunately, getting there 7:30 meant we missed out on the Peanut Butter Cinnamon Rolls.  And that was a HUGE bummer.  I might have even cried a little. 
• We stopped by Dad and Beth's house to wish Dad a happy Father's Day and give him a Vail Moose.
• We got home!!  Our beds had never felt so good.

Overall, this was a super vacation!

Miles Henry Bethell

This is the true story of Miles Henry Bethell. (And also a little bit of confession...)

In September (right after Cooper turned one), I was running with Sarita and I felt very winded.  I couldn't catch my breath, which does happen from time to time, but this was the third run in a row like this.  I was sweating buckets.  Discouragement was kicking in.  I remember sitting on the end of my driveway stretching after a run, reflecting on how much it hurt, and Sarita said, "Are you pregnant?"  "Oh, no way," I replied.  Sarita answered, "Well, I just remember you feeling like this when you were pregnant with Cooper." 

I couldn't shake our conversation, so I gave myself 4, yes FOUR pregancy tests that day.  They were all positive. Not believing it could possibly be true, I asked Nate to stop by the store and buy the more reliable test on his way home from work that day.  He bought a two pack.  The first was positive, so I did the second, too.  It was positive, too.  It would be an understatement to say I was in disbelief.

After that the crying began.  This was really not my plan.  I watched as several families around us had babies close together, and I thought that was not our style - I needed time to recover from the first.  Surely God didn't have this in mind for me - didn't He remember how hard being a new mom was for me?  Nate travels - remember God?  I think I cried for about 2 weeks straight.

Looking back, I am really embarrased about the way I handled this surprise gift the Lord gave our family.  I wish I would have been mature enough to laugh, to enjoy, to celebrate God's gift to me.  I remember telling a wise friend about another experience that I look back and regret, and his encouraging advice was something like this: Looking back with regret shows we have grown.  Oh, how I long to grow!!  My response to my pregnancy with Miles' really revealed more selfishness in me that the Lord continues to strip away, one piece at a time.  After I married Nate, I remember falling on my face, overwhelmed that I could be so selfish.  Then, after I had Cooper, more and more layers were stripped away.  This life isn't about me, and having a child made it very clear to me that my needs neet to be set aside.

Enough reflecting.  I am a sinful, selfish woman, saved by God's grace.  God has used my children to refine me, break me, and mold me.  He gave me Miles Henry Bethell. And I am thankful.

Just think, I would have missed all this: