What in the world...?

I often wonder if my kids are learning the things I am teaching them.   There are repeat offenses that require patient reminders (and more reminders) that make me think I am not making a bit of difference in their lives.  But I get reminders every once and a while that they are watching and learning every second.

Yesterday was our weekly trip to Walmart.  I do my best to fit that "job" in our lives at a time that the boys do not have to be tortured by coming with me.  Unfortunately, this week required the three of us to make the trek together.

Walmart trips are hard.  My parenting skills and patience are are tested (to say the least.)  I'm going to do my best to describe an average trip to Walmart.  If you are a mom of at least two children, you can skip the next paragraph, because you have lived this and know first-hand how your blood  pressure rises several points and your heart begins to palpitate. 

The trips look something like this: Start moving the cart forward - call the kids to remind them to keep up with me.  Arrive at the location of the first item on my list.  Stop the cart.  Pick out first item. "Please stop touching things."  "Hey - stay close to the cart."  Begin to move cart to the next item.  "Come on boys.  Please keep up with me."  Boys hop on the sides of the cart.  "Hop down, please, we won't fit down this isle."  Boys hop down.  Get distracted by something on the shelf.  I keep rolling, as we have not yet arrived at the location of the next item.  "Come on boys, please keep up with the cart." Boys come back to the cart.  Arrive at the location of the next item.  Stop the cart.  Boys touch and grab at items on the shelf.  "Boys - please do not touch items on the shelf. "  Grab the item. (Probably the wrong item at this point because I can't think about what I'm doing.)  Start moving cart to the next item.  "Come on boys - please keep up with the cart."  "Oh - please watch where you are going.  You are about to run into someone."  "Hey - scooch over - there's someone coming down the isle."  And now I have two items in my cart.  Out of 200. 

It's a long day.

(As an aside to the story, I would like to point out that I used to not understand...which sounds better than "judge"...parents at Walmart who were "uptight" with their children.  Not any more, my friends.  I have been that momma.)

Now that I have set the stage, I will come back to yesterday, and the lesson I learned about my kids learning from me.  It was near the end of the trip.  Miles had brought along a fruit bar for a snack, and at one of our stops to pick out an item, he asked for my help opening it.  "Just a second, Miles, I need to think about this."  "Help me, Mom!"  "Okay - just a sec, Bud."  "HELP ME, MOM!"  I looked down and he had opened both ends, crumbs were flying, it was a mess.  And then it happened, as if my patience had run dry.  "Miles - what in the world were you thinking to open both ends?"

We recovered and finished the trip.  We even salvaged the fruit bar.  However, when I was loading groceries into the car, I heard Cooper say to his brother, "Miles, what in the world were you thinking...?"  It sounded so awful coming out of my six-year-old's mouth.  It was so obvious to me where Cooper learned that.  The scene from earlier in the store was repeating in my head and I heard my own voice saying the exact same thing.  Cooper had learned dishonoring words from me.

I apologized to Miles for saying what I had said in the store and talked to the boys about using honoring words with others - even Mommy needs to do this.  Even if we have just spent two hours at Walmart.  Even if my patience is gone.  Even if I really think I deserve to say whatever I want because circumstances are hard.

I have the ability to breathe life or death into my children.  Yesterday made it so real to me that the decisions I make affect my children's behavior.  They are learning from me!

Deut 30:19-20
This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob