Family Movie Night

Last night the boys and I watched a movie together. The boys chose "Hero of the Rails" for our movie. It was a super time to snuggle, and also, I confess, it was a good time for me to just check out for a little while. However, the irony of the break for me was what came next. Oh my goodness the questions came rolling. The movie was over around 6:30 and the rest of the night was consumed with something that looked a little like this:

Why was Hiro the first train on the island of Sodor?
How did he get to Sodor?
What time of day do you think he came? Morning? Maybe nighttime?
What island did Hiro live on before Sodor? Do you think it was Misty Island?
How old was Thomas (Henry, Percy, Gordon, Edward, Deisel, etc.) when Hiro was on Sodor?
Why wasn't Thomas (Henry, Percy, Gordon, Edward, Deisel, etc.) on the island with Hiro?
Why did they call him the Master of the Railway?
What does Master mean?
Why was Hiro blue and green?
Why did they paint Hiro black?
Why did they leave Hiro to rust in the wilderness?
Why didn't they bring Hiro his new part?
Why was Spencer so mean in Hero of the Rails?
Remember when Spencer (fill in the blank), wasn't that mean, Mama?
Why did Spencer follow Thomas around?
What was Thomas trying to do?
Why did Thomas keep Hiro a secret from the other engines?
Why did Spencer want to send Hiro to the scrapyard?

And on and on and on and on. That kid's brain NEVER stops. At our last book club, the amazing Jacki Dublin shared about how she has really been trying to listen to her son when he is talking her ear off. To validate him. Not just to nod and grunt, but to HEAR him. I think about how when Cooper is a teenager, I will want him to come to me with his questions, not his friends. I want him to remember how open I was with questions. But last night, after about an hour of explaining a movie that I hadn't fully watched (shhhh...don't tell!), I had to ask Cooper to give me 5 minutes of no questions. Maybe next time I'll endure.

Easter

Here is our "family" Easter picture. It was a little bit of a chaotic day, so this was the best we could get. :) Our attempt at all 4 of us was unsuccessful.

P.S. They both got hair cuts the following Tuesday.

Fighting

The boys woke up arguing again today. They were up long before 7:00, and I have been trying to enforce the "rule" that they can't come out of their room until 7:00. We have this rule in place to help our home run more smoothly, but sometimes I doubt that it works. Staying in their room means fighting. I continue getting ready for the day in my room, and I hear, "That's my truck!" "Give that back to me!" "No!" "I had it first!" The crying starts. Then a loud crashing noise - Miles dumped the entire box of trucks out on top of Cooper. I go into the room, so unsure of how to parent this situation. Both boys have heart issues. Selfishness, unkindness, uncontrolled anger. I can't really separate them - the rule is they need to stay in their room until 7:00 - and they share a room. Are we doing the wrong thing making them share? Miles can be so mean to Cooper. Cooper just needs space! Yet Cooper is so controlling of Miles - it suffocates Miles until he retaliates physically. Maybe Miles needs space! I doubt the decisions we've made.

But then I remember moments like the one pictured below. We walked to the gas station and they each got to pick a candy bar. After dinner, they got to enjoy their treats, and they decided TOGETHER on a way to eat their candy. They each took three bites of their own candy and then took a bite of the other's candy. They repeated this until the candy was finished. This plan was created by them with no intervention from me.

When I focus on these moments, as few and far between as they are, I feel encouraged. I can think thoughts aligned with truth. God gave me these boys, 20 months apart from one another; He built our family just the way He wanted it to be. How awesome that they get to learn about conflict, selfishness, conflict resolution, and playing together at home, in our home, under our guidance. So when the fighting starts, I can either be thankful for the opportunity to teach my boys, even DELIGHT in them, or I can face them with dread and parent in such a way that makes life easy - what is the quickest way to make them stop fighting so I can get ready for the day? Today I will choose to be thankful for the opportunities to teach them. (And beg the Lord for wisdom on how to handle each situation!) I think I will read this post frequenly so I can remind myself of my choice and be thankful again.

It's Been A While...

It's been a while since I have updated the blog. We've been in survival mode... Nate traveled three weeks ago, and when he came back, each of us had a bout of sickness. Nate is still fighting a pretty rough cough, but I think we're getting better.

It is time, though, for me to get a few little stories written down before I forget:

On Sunday, Nate was baking a cake with Miles. He got some music going and asked Miles - can you dance? Miles looked at Nate and said, "No, I can't do that until I’m a grownup. And when I'm a grownup, I'll have a big nose like you!"

The other day I told Cooper, "You've gotten really good at coloring." He said, "Mom, you should call me a colorist. You know, like a guitarist?"

Please do not read this story if you think it is inappropriate to blog about bathroom issues...but if you're okay with it, then here it goes...Miles finished using the bathroom and flushed the toilet. I said, "Shut the lid, Miles! Poop shrapnel is going to fly everywhere!" He looked at me and said, "Mommy - poopy not have wings." So true.

We had a tornado warning several weeks ago, so the four of us piled into the laundry room. (With Nate's parents in the guest bathroom!) The alarm sounded around 9:30. Cooper was already in a deep sleep, but Miles hadn't fallen asleep yet. He and I had a chance to snuggle together in the laundry room. Nate and I have been very strict with our rule about no kids in our bed, so I don't really get a lot of nighttime snuggles from the boys. Miles just lay very still and stroked my arm with his hand. It was a very sweet moment that I want to remember.

Dirt & Dishes

One day last week, Cooper was playing legos really close to the piano. Miles sat down to join him and pulled a plant that sits on the piano right down on his head. It mostly just brushed the side on the way down, but MAN it was scary. Miles cried hard because he was hurt, and Cooper cried hard because dirt got all over his legos. I was trying to comfort Miles and calm Cooper down at the same time. As I brushed the dirt off of Miles in the laundry room, he was trying to get himself together. He sniffled out, "Mommy - can you fix the plant?" Poor little guy was worried about the plant.


Nate is traveling this week, so we had leftover pizza for dinner tonight on paper plates. :) After dinner, I joked to Cooper, "Hey - you can do the dishes tonight" and then we threw away the paper dishes together. I apparently was the only one who understood that joke because after throwing the dishes away, Cooper ran over to the sink, eager to wash dishes. We had a few things to wash - a cutting board and cookie sheet. Cooper went after it! And Miles was jealous! I love it! Tell me it's this easy when they are teenagers. :) (AND - thank you, Lord, for the blessing of my sweet, helpful children!)

The Blizzard

Here are a few pictures from our blizzard:

This is Nate shoveling our drive for the third time on Tuesday.



Our front walk:
The backyard:

Snow angels:

Last night, Cooper was playing his guitar and singing from the living room while I cleaned up from dinner. He stopped suddenly and said, "Mom, I'm not just playing the guitar, I'm picking my boogies and eating 'em."

Cooper wouldn't eat his dinner the other night, and so I began asking him questions about the food that he DOES like. The conversation progressed, and it came to this:
Me: Cooper, if you were a chef, and you could cook anything in the world, what would it be?
Cooper: Chicken Cannelloni
Me: That's interesting. I thought you didn't like chicken cannelloni. When I made it the other night, you didn't eat it.
Cooper: I know. I just want to make it because I know you guys like it.
Me: That is so thoughtful of you! But what will you eat?
Cooper: I'll just go out somewhere.

Random Stories

Cooper came into the kitchen and ate a bite of my homemade granola. He said, "Mom, you are such a good cook! You are better than any restaurant!"



Here is a conversation I had with Miles the other day in the bathroom. I want to document this sample, not because it is super funny, but because it is SO common in our household.

Me: Miles - you need to wash your hands.

Miles: Okay. I will.

Me: Walk towards Miles.

Miles: No, Mommy! I will do it myself!

Me: Okay, Buddy. Can you turn the water on?

Miles: No.

Me: Okay - I'll help you.

Miles: Actually, I can do it. Tries to turn the water on.

Me: Can I help you Miles?

Miles: Yes, you can.



Miles bumped his head at BUM kids and was crying. He told his teacher that he needed Cooper to feel better. They went and got Cooper out of his class to come comfort Miles. Cooper took great care of his little brother, and the teacher said, "Wow, Cooper, you're a great big brother." Coop's response? "I know."



Cooper and Miles were telling me this morning how they want to get the plastic motorized trains, like the Vernons. I explained to the boys that we have wooden trains, so maybe we should just continue building our wooden train collection. Cooper said, "Mom, I have a great idea! Miles can have the wooden set and I can get the motorized train set. I know whow to engineer those tracks."

Snow!

We received about 1 to 2 inches of snow on early this week, and Cooper and Miles were chomping at the bit to get out in it. I held them off all day Monday, promising we would go out to play on Tuesday. So we bundled up and headed outside in the sweltering 20 degree temps.

It took about 30 minutes to get all bundled up. We each had on 2 pairs of pants, 2 pairs of socks, 3 shirts, a coat, a hat, and gloves. And once we were outside, we only lasted about 15 minutes. Miles was cold and ready to come in, but Cooper decided he wanted to stay out. And then, as Miles and I turned to head in, Cooper ran smack into the tree in our front yard. He just took off running, pulling the sled behind him and slammed into the tree.

Here are the Bethell boys, ready for the cold.

And here is what a cheek looks like after being slammed into a tree:

Our family made it inside, and Miles ran straight to his bedroom, instead of staying with us to get all his snowy clothes off. "Miles, you need to come back out with us to get your coat off." I called. Miles response: "Mommy, I will not ever, ever listen to you again!" Slam door. I left the upset and bloody-cheeked Cooper to go "take care" of that situation with Miles. (You can imply whatever you would like in that generic description of how the situation was addressed.) After it was taken care of, and Cooper's cheek was cleaned up, Miles and I were discussing what happened. I said, "Miles, you said, 'Mommy, I won't ever listen to you again!' and slammed the door. It is not okay for you to talk to Mommy like that." Miles replied, "I not say that, Mommy." I said, "Miles - I asked you to come out with Cooper and me to get your coat off, and you yelled at me, 'Mommy, I won't ever listen to you again!' and slammed the door. It is not okay for you to talk to Mommy like that." Miles said, "NO, Mommy! I not say that! I said, 'Mommy, I won't ever, EVER listen to you again!" So true. He did have that extra 'EVER' in there. Goodness gracious. I won't ever, EVER misquote my child again.

The things they say...

Cooper has had a few cute sayings lately, and Miles is in a very fun spot verbally. Here are Cooper's sayings:

Quote from FB on 1/2/2011: I'm wearing a skirt and tights today for church (a rare occasion indeed), and Cooper approached me with a very confused look. He said, "Mommy, I just need to know, are those pants or not?"

Quoted from Nate's FB on 1/8/2010: Cooper says to me: Dad, let's travel around the whole world to tell everyone how good eggnog is.

Miles still uses "me" instead of "I" and he says "yours" instead of your. Here are some examples:

• Running to where he is supposed to be, "Here comes me!!"
• "Who would like to eat lunch?" "Me do!"
• "I'm going to put this blanket on yours head."
• "Mom, is this yours water?"