Fighting

The boys woke up arguing again today. They were up long before 7:00, and I have been trying to enforce the "rule" that they can't come out of their room until 7:00. We have this rule in place to help our home run more smoothly, but sometimes I doubt that it works. Staying in their room means fighting. I continue getting ready for the day in my room, and I hear, "That's my truck!" "Give that back to me!" "No!" "I had it first!" The crying starts. Then a loud crashing noise - Miles dumped the entire box of trucks out on top of Cooper. I go into the room, so unsure of how to parent this situation. Both boys have heart issues. Selfishness, unkindness, uncontrolled anger. I can't really separate them - the rule is they need to stay in their room until 7:00 - and they share a room. Are we doing the wrong thing making them share? Miles can be so mean to Cooper. Cooper just needs space! Yet Cooper is so controlling of Miles - it suffocates Miles until he retaliates physically. Maybe Miles needs space! I doubt the decisions we've made.

But then I remember moments like the one pictured below. We walked to the gas station and they each got to pick a candy bar. After dinner, they got to enjoy their treats, and they decided TOGETHER on a way to eat their candy. They each took three bites of their own candy and then took a bite of the other's candy. They repeated this until the candy was finished. This plan was created by them with no intervention from me.

When I focus on these moments, as few and far between as they are, I feel encouraged. I can think thoughts aligned with truth. God gave me these boys, 20 months apart from one another; He built our family just the way He wanted it to be. How awesome that they get to learn about conflict, selfishness, conflict resolution, and playing together at home, in our home, under our guidance. So when the fighting starts, I can either be thankful for the opportunity to teach my boys, even DELIGHT in them, or I can face them with dread and parent in such a way that makes life easy - what is the quickest way to make them stop fighting so I can get ready for the day? Today I will choose to be thankful for the opportunities to teach them. (And beg the Lord for wisdom on how to handle each situation!) I think I will read this post frequenly so I can remind myself of my choice and be thankful again.